Anatomy of a Party

My apologies to the 9 people who read my blog. I have been remiss in posting these past few months. Between end of the semester shenanigans, Bryan’s graduation, two weddings, a birthday, a jury duty stint, and smattering of other events, Makeroom took a little hiatus. But! Its summer! School is out! And I am a free agent for the next six weeks. Watch out. Blogging commenced!

In honor of the high season of festivities (summer) I dedicate this post to the art of throwing a  party. Many have said I said I know a thing or two about this, and  well, without bragging too much, they are correct. I throw a great party. This, however, was not always the case. Like all things, practice makes perfect. So, for the party shy (you know who you are), here are a few tips I’ve gathered over the years to encourage you to invite your nearest and dearest over and have a great time.

1. Why on earth would I willingly invite a mass of people over who I will have to cook and clean for? And then clean again for after they’ve left????!

Because you love them. Because you have been a guest at many a party (perhaps even too many…), and now its your turn to host. Because it can be fun and not a drag. There used to be a time when that’s what people did, they entertained. They got together, ate, drank, connected, and essentially had a good time. So keep the art of entertaining alive, preserve it! Don’t rely on social media to keep in  touch with your friends and maintain your relationships, make a little extra effort.

 2. Safe Choices

As with most things you have choices. So don’t throw a party that scares the beejeezus out of you. Like inviting everyone you know. Like making a really complicated menu. Like hosting a party that starts at eight o’clock p.m. when you turn into a pumpkin at 9:30. You are the host! You are the decision maker! That means you call the shots and get to only do what you feel comfortable doing. A party can be anything you want to make it, big or small, formal or informal, breakfast or dinner, whatever YOU want.  Sometimes I think we forget this, especially when it comes to parties, we feel pressured to perform and try to do everything, and please everyone. The truth of the matter is that your guests are coming because they like you, they won’t like seeing you running around stressed and overworked. Its pretty much the biggest party downer ever to see the host not having fun. So stop and think. What is the party that will work for you? What sounds fun to YOU? A happy host = happy party guests. A few things to consider when deciding what party would make you happiest:

Your Home

Case in point: As I have mentioned before, my house is on the smaller side. I am fortunate though to have a large patio and backyard.  Therefore, with very few exceptions I don’t throw big, or even medium sized, parties in the dead of winter. And I don’t do sit down dinners. As much as possible I try to get people outside. It also makes clean up a whole lot easier. So think about what makes sense for hosting at your house. When we first bought our house the yard was atrocious. I mean really bad, lava rock as far as the eye could see. It is amazing what the cover of darkness and a few twinkle lights and ton of candles can mask. Suddenly there was “ambiance” and “romantic, flattering lighting”, in a place that looked like the surface of the moon during the day. As a result, there was a while there where most of our parties happened at night. But my point is, it didn’t work for me to have people hanging out in my crappy backyard, so rather than say,” We’ll have a party when the backyard is all landscaped” (which took about 6 years), I came up with a party plan that worked for me.

Your strengths and Weaknesses

Capitalize on them! Are you like Bryan and bake amazing chocolate chip oatmeal cookies? Do you make a phenomenal margarita? Do you have an exceptional music collection? A party should include the things you do well, and feel comfortable with. A party is not the time to work on your weaknesses. Perhaps you love the idea of a BBQ but you have never seen a piece of meat you didn’t grill to a charcoal-ly crisp. Yea, no. Don’t do it. Work on your grilling during your private time, not with the people you allegedly love. Or, recruit someone else to take care of the the things you aren’t so good at (We’ll talk more about delegating later on).

Keep it Simple

No one ever said, “Gosh, I wish I’d made things more complicated, I really just didn’t have enough hostessing duties at the party last night!” Embrace the concept of less is more. When you start uttering phrases like, “that looks easy, I could do that!” or, “that shouldn’t take long!”, these are your warning signs. You are heading into dangerous territory, and yes, you are correct, you COULD do that, and it SHOULDN’T take long. But I promise you, it WILL take longer than you think and it WILL be more complicated than you ever imagined, so evaluate your time and energy, do you really need to do those things? And guess what, no will no if you don’t.

3. Pick a Theme

I love a good party theme, it makes planning so much easier, and much more amusing. Again, keep it simple. No complicated obscure themes, just something to inform your choices and to make your guests smile. Here are some themes that have worked for me:

Poker Party

I should preface this by saying a really know very little about poker. I rely on Bryan for the actual playing of the game, and if poker isn’t your thing, pick a different game. But as far as party themes go, this is an easy, low cost, low effort one. No need for lots of food as this is an after dinner kind of thing, just your typical poker snacks, pretzels, chips and dip, etc. This is also a great opportunity to harken back to the golden age of entertaining, the fifties. Chex party mix. Deviled eggs. Pigs in a blanket. Lil smokies. Weird nut covered  cheese balls. And as poker kind of smacks of rec rooms, basements, and smoky backrooms, we’ve held this in the garage, and even in our living room during a major renovation (no dry wall, no floors, big hole in the floor…think war torn  Eastern European country remodel), in both cases it really just added to the ambiance. Other poker party tips, green felt from the craft store makes for an easy and cheap table cloth, get your sunglasses and hats out for people to wear while they embrace their inner card shark, and a  piece of poster board listing poker hands in their winning order is very helpful for novices. Do keep in mind poker is best played with no more five or six, so you might need more than one table. More than that and the game starts to fall apart a little.

Happy Hour

So I can’t really take credit for this one. I have studied dutifully under the happy hour tutelage of one Allison Freeman. She is a happy hour master, and through her I have learned  the beauty and simplicity of happy hour. The great thing about happy hour is it starts early, ends early, doesn’t involve a great deal of food, and can be thrown together last minute. And I get to use all my fun bar accessories. You do need a few cocktail recipes to make it really authentic, although wine works too. Fortunately there is this fantastic thing called the internet, where cocktail recipes abound. This is also a great weeknight event, I am particularly fond of Thursday night shindigs. Its almost Friday, so people tend to think, “what the heck, why not?”. And weekends can be tricky, people often have plans, but are usually free on Thursday evenings.

Art Night

So this one might be a little more specialized, but I’m putting it out there as I’ve enjoyed it. Art night is when you invite people over to do a little art. Its best to pick one medium; paint, collage, knitting, quilting, maybe an art form you are particularly interested in. A while back I took an encaustics class (painting with hot wax) and really enjoyed it. Since then I’ve hosted two Art Nights where guests got to play around with the medium. I ask that everyone bring $5.00 to cover the cost of supplies and a food or drink item to share. My favorite part is seeing people who don’t consider themselves “artistic” have a great time. This is also an excellent all ages party theme.

Halloween

So for those of you who know me, you know Halloween is my holiday. I friggin love it. The decor, the dressing up, all of it. Which is hilarious as I hate scary movies, and am a big, big chicken. The last scary movie I saw was Nightmare on Elm Street, and I am still traumatized. But! As far as party themes go, its a great one. We have  a huge Halloween party every year, I’ve got bins of decorations that I’ve collected over the years, we invite well over 50 people. That being said, you don’t have go crazy with it (like me), but why should all the kids get all the fun? So now that I’ve sold you on Halloween , don’t even think about stealing my thunder. If you live in Sonoma, County, BACK OFF, and re-read the first line of this paragraph- Halloween is MY holiday. But everyone else, you are more than welcome to throw a Halloween party. In fact, tune back in for October, for a more detailed account of how to throw the best Halloween party ever.

3. Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.

It has been my experience that people like to help. And if people offer to help-take them up on it. Consider the aspects you enjoy most about throwing a party, and farm out the rest. I really like doing the decor, flowers, entertainment, music. Food, meh. I like making a few things, but that’s not my favorite part. Fortunately, I have many gifted and talented cooks in my circle of friends and family who are very generous. This is when you need to re-read the paragraph on playing to one’s strengths, and apply it to your friends and family. My friend Carolyn makes uh-mazing deviled eggs, my mom has got the best potstickers and sausage rolls (see photo to left for proof), my friends Tara and Jennifer make  superb cupcakes , I believe I have already mentioned Bryan’s cookies, and then there’s my brother and his girlfriend who have a corner market on all things Asian and delish. You best believe I’m calling on all of them all when I have a party.

4.Music

Music is critical to a successful party, and between Pandora, Itunes, Spotify, Rhapsody, Sirius Radio, and various other online music services a great party mix is now readily available for all. It used to be we’d spend hours putting together the perfect mix, now, it takes all of five minutes to create a station or mix that will set the right tone for your event. Sometimes rather than choose by artist we choose our music by genre. The Ratpack  is perfect for cocktails, a Latin mix is upbeat and celebratory, and great for all ages. Or! Go old school- bust out your vinyl and ask you guests to bring over theirs, we’ve had a lot of fun with this and it has worked especially well for poker and game nights. I think it best to steer clear from music that is too obscure or specific; this is not the time to show off your collection and knowledge of rare Asian speed jazz fusion bands. You want music that’s going to appeal to most of your guests and create a fun backdrop for your party.

5. Activities

I  like to have activities at my parties, and usually they relate to the party theme. Most of the time they are very simple things like, darts, croquette, a costume contest at Halloween, etc. For Bryan’s graduation party we went all out and  my dear friend Maddie and her lovely girlfriend, Rhonda (another superb use of my delegating skills), dreamed up fantastic Bryan themed games. My dad did an excellent job of actualizing the “Bryan Bean Bag Toss”; Bryan later commented on how much fun people were having throwing things at his face…Activities are especially great for parties with kids, but they are also nice way for people to mix and mingle, meet people they haven’t met before, and with the exception of the costume contest, are always optional.

 

 

 

 

 

6. Plan Ahead

The more you can do before the day of your party, the better off you will be. Again, no one likes a tired, sweaty, bedraggled host. This also helps keep party tasks from getting overwhelming. Here’s a sample “Party To Do List Timeline”:

Two Weeks Before: Send out invites, make menu, recruit helpers, place orders for things like rental tables, food, etc.

One Week Before: Do any major cleaning/prep (ex: clean BBQ, hose down patio, get out lawn furniture).

Five Days Before: Take an inventory of party supplies you already have (ex: ice, paper goods, liquor), make shopping list for supplies and food.

Four Days Before: Shop for party.

Three Days Before: Figure out music for the party, review any recipes you are using, and start on food prep that can be done ahead of time (things like: make and freeze cookie dough, make marinades)

Two Days Before: Clean house (although I rarely mop before a party, what’s the point?), get all your party stuff (table cloths, cheese board, salad bowls, cocktail makings, ice buckets, etc) out, and check to see you have everything you need.

One Day Before: Major food prep, pretty much you want almost all of this done here, apart from the stuff that has to be done the day of (BBq-ing, assembly of salads…). This is a good day to get someone to help you, and if I’m having a really big party on a Saturday I usually take Friday off from work. Set up tables chairs, arrange furniture, decorate, get your candles out…I pretty much try to the lion’s share of the work on this day.

Day of the Party: Last minute cleaning stuff, last minute food stuff, get beverages on ice, set out food, turn on the music and most importantly, sit down, relax and have a pre-party drink!

The sun is out, the nights are long, and people are ready to have a good time. So make a little room this summer for a get together of your own!